My Heart

The love in my heart
Can easily fall apart
Making me feel like a fake piece of art
That needs a fresh start

Could it be that I’m just broken?
Used up like a subway token
Am I now, speaking the unspoken?
Letting my heart slowly become open

Does my heart need time to be healed?
Or will the casing remain sealed
With it always needing a shield?
Keeping my feelings completely concealed

The heart carries all our troubles
Hopes and dreams floating around in bubbles
Hopefully, they are just coming across like doubles
Here, truly lies all my struggles





Striving for Excellence (the I.E.P story)

I always strived to be better than the rest. LOL, yea where did that type of thinking get me, right? I know, but still, it must be the competitive nature in me. So, is it wrong for me to want my kids to push themselves to try and be a better version? For example….

My son was put on an I.E.P (Individualized Education Plan) when he was in grade 2. I know lots of other families whose child has also been given an I.E.P and they see it as a great thing. No offence to any of my friends who may be reading this but in my opinion, it is NOT a great thing. If your child just requires certain type of modifications than yes it’s not a bad thing but if your child is in grade 2 and they have him on an I.E.P for math at a grade 1 level then your child is BEHIND!! If your child is in grade 5 and their plan is for reading at a grade 1 level, your child is BEHIND! In our days your child would have failed, now all they are doing is pushing them through the system. So my son has been on an I.E.P for EVERYTHING since grade 2. He is now in grade 6 and guess what?! He is off the I.E.P COMPLETELY!!

Slowly over the years I targeted one area to work on. Easiest was social studies then math then reading and language and the last which was just removed was his social self-regulation requirements. His grade 6 teacher couldn’t believe he used to be on an I.E.P for everything and now he doesn’t require one at all. Most people who are put on an I.E.P stay on it, why? No offence, but I believe it’s the parents that leave the teachings to the school system so your child falls between the cracks. We can’t do this! We have to be involved with our children’s education or else they will never reach their full potential. My son was labelled as ADHD with a reading and writing disability. I didn’t let this stop me from pushing him forward. Now, he is at his grade level regardless of his “disabilities”.

He feels like he no longer has to work hard because he is at his grade level so he is okay being average. I’m not okay with him just being average, I want him to keep working hard and to push his intelligence to another level. Am I wrong? Should I stop pushing him and leave him at “average” or do I continue to push him forward hoping that one day he will adapt the same time as thinking as me?

What would you do?


Best Fruits and Veggies to Buy in Spring

The best time to buy fruits and veggies for your dollar, is to buy the items that are “in season”. When an item is in-season, it is cheaper to buy at that time. So here is my springtime shopping list for the Spring:

Water Squash

Now I just need to find the perfect recipes to incorporate these items into my meal plans for the 3 months of Spring.



5 Requirements for a Successful Relationship

Relationship. That one word can be something wonderful or it can bring misery to your mind. Which is it for you?

Not every relationship can be AMAZING! However, no relationship will be amazing for you if you harbor ill feelings from relationships of your past. No one wants a bad relationship just like no one wants a partner that is holding on to their past baggage.

If I think of 5 things every relationship needs to be successful, these are it (not in any particular order):

1) Freedom – You need to be ready to be in another relationship. Meaning: No thoughts/feelings regarding your past relationship. When you go on a date, that date doesn’t want to hear no long ass story about your past relationship however I will ask you about it to see your response towards it because the way you talk about your last relationship can tell a person a lot.

2) Trust – Trust shouldn’t have to be EARNED in a new relationship. Trust is a privilege that you give to your partner automatically HOWEVER it can easily be taken away. Heads up! You lose the trust, you just lost the relationship. Meaning: If I feel the need to constantly check your phone, we have no trust and therefore no hopes for a successful relationship.

3) Communication – This is key to EVERYTHING. Lack of this, leaves room for questioning, doubts and obviously miscommunication. You may need to work on this but as long as both parties are open to learning how to communicate with one another than there is hope.

4) Interest – This may sound weird because automatically you’re thinking, “Obviously there is interest that’s why you’re in the relationship”. But I don’t mean like that. You need to show interest in the things that are important to your partner.  I’m not saying you are going to like everything they do but you at least should be open to trying it at least once. Meaning: if your girl is into poetry, attend a poetry event with her. You don’t have to always go especially if you don’t like it however that one time shows that you respect her interests enough to see if it is something you could also partake in. This also goes for women, if your man is into basketball (these are just examples), go to a game with him. If after you attend these “examples” and figure it’s not your thing then no problem but at least you tried.

5) Intimacy – This isn’t just in reference to sex. Intimacy can be many things but it NEEDS to be there. I can’t stress the NEED anymore than that. Everyone, even the most confident person  needs to feel wanted/desired by their significant other.

6) This is a bonus and definitely will not relate to everyone but if you are on the same boat as me than this will definitely matter. GOD – Without him being a strong force within your relationship, I feel a lot of things can go wrong that could be avoided. Through him all things are possible. A family that prays together stays together. There is something encouraging about having a partner who believes in the same things as you… At least I think so.


The Saving Plan

So I know I should have probably started this when the year just started but May has brought about a lot of new “Plans” for me. So today I put 1 dollar into my savings account. I will move the money every Sunday into my savings account, the target is to follow this 52 week saving challenge. Yes it only gives you $1378 at the end of the year but for a female who has recently been struggling to even rub two pennies together this would be a great start! I will be doing this with my simplii account.


There is another plan that I’m going to try to do with my other bank account (tangerine) but I might not stick to it as the amount to save each week is higher but if you can do it, that would be great because at the end of the year you would have saved  5k.

more money
So all deposits were made this week hopefully on Sunday I can make week 2 deposits. God has a plan for me, this I know.

God Willing

The Butt Goal

All my life, I’ve been criticized about my “no butt for a black girl” and I’ve lived with it. It didn’t stop me from getting friends or boyfriends or having kids etc. So there really wasn’t any reason for me to worry about it. When I took off my clothes for the boyfriends that I would go through (shameful moment as I didn’t wait until marriage) they all had the same reaction, loving my butt.

Apparently, clothes just didn’t do my butt justice but there was a nice, small, round butt that was visible when naked. Anyhow, after 4 kids and trying to increase my calorie intake to produce more rich in fat hindmilk for baby number 4, I’ve gained a few pounds and I feel my butt now at the age of 33 needs some work…

Before I started my butt workout

So in the beginning of May I decided to start working out on my butt, in my home but a workout is a workout never the less!

I’m excited because I’m telling you about it which means I have to stick to it or else I’ll be a failure and me including this cyber world will know it. So can’t give up!

Nothing there.. Got to change that look… Don’t like it!

I don’t have a size goal or a butt look goal but I do want to look and see an indent from the bottom of my butt to my thighs so I will do this workout for 30 days and see how it looks then. The workout I’m doing is called “30 days butt workout”, it’s a phone app. I’m on the beginner level 1 and they have beginner 2, intermediate 1 and 2 and advanced 1 and 2. My hopes is to get through it all  but that will be a good 6 months so I’m not making any promises about that but for now I have a 30 day butt workout on beginner level 1 to start!

Wish me luck!

God Willing


Fantastic Friday: Formula Scare

When I used to be a “soca head” there was a song that came out the year I played mas in Trinidad called “Fantastic Friday”. Oh boy, it was the song of the year, I had to dance to that song sooo much it was crazy but now as it’s been about 5 years I sometimes wish I cherished and enjoyed those moments more.

Today, I’m getting ready to bring my sweet 4-month-old baby boy to an out-patient lab to test his blood for the 3rd time since he has been born but today is a bit different than the other times. My son was barely gaining weight, although he was hitting the milestones and always had the energy he wasn’t growing weight wise. My doctor was adamant to give him formula after breastfeeding so although he has g6pd and they say no formula is good for a g6pd kid, I’m sad to say I risked my son’s health so he can gain weight.

It’s been a week and he has gotten a few ounces a day so today my heart is racing because I need to see if he is experiencing any hemolysing that isn’t producing any obvious signs. Basically, I want to see if his red blood cells have dropped any and if so I will stop giving him the formula completely! In January his HGB was 130, in March it was 96 so as you can see it dropped and 96 is the very low level of normal. So we are at the end of April and I’m really nervous about what it is going to be today as I feel it’s going to be low due to the formula exposure. The good news is though, I have a backup plan so if his HGB has dropped there is a goat milk formula, I can order and make myself that he can have and I will be pursuing that if need be. I’m not worried though because I have a plan so even if it is low, I know the action that needs to be taken and he is being watched over by God hence why he isn’t showing any hemolysing signs. After this, I will be able to confirm for sure that formula indeed is NOT good for a G6PD child or it actually hasn’t affected his red blood cells at all… Will update you on Monday!

God Willing